Quote Originally Posted by reaper239 View Post
which section are you talking about, the introduction of the joint squad members in the kill house? do you think a character reference sheet would be a good replacement? when i say character reference sheet, i mean something like this:

John Welsh: Call Sign Soul Sister, US Army Special Forces Medical Sergeant, Delta Force, CQB Specialist, M4 CQBR (Mk18) attachments listed here, M1014 JSCS attachments listed here, languages spoken, etc, etc.

John Bailey: Call Sign Big Dog, etc, etc.

also, i think the confusion comes from me writing too quick and maybe not putting in enough pronouns to distinguish between the squad and the choppers. i'm going to look into fixing that.
For me it was far too much time spent on things that didn't move the story forward--e.g. the guns and ammo aspect. It's military based, I get that, but I felt it was at the expense of characterization, and really felt like filler. I get that there's a language that you're trying to capture, but I really didn't feel connected to any character.

I'll totally read a second draft, which I assume you'll be posting soon.

2nd Draft = 1st draft - 10%