This is a Bad Suggestion: How many Forum names could be slipped into season 4?

[Duffusmonkey]

I am getting a little stir crazy waiting for season 4, so my mind starts wondering...

How many forum fans names could KC sneak into season 4 if he was willing to trash his fine work.

Maybe he could combine fan names so he would not have to add so many new characters.
Here as some of my ideas:

Nick "Voodoo" Witchdoctor, A rip off of Walking Dead Voodoo doctor with weird powers to talk to and maybe control some zombies. The tower survivors quickly believe he has some way of communicating with the zombies they just can't understand why they obey him. Tonya develops a theory that he is training them just like dogs. Michael is negotiating with him to form and train a zombie army to fight against the other zombies until Datu starts to question what treat the zombies want so badly.

Turbo Scbubba: A Navy Seal who won a bronze in 2004 Olympic Heptathlon after entering on a bet. He became obsessed with winning and went MIA to train. the Navy looked the other way until he won a Gold in the 2008 Heptathlon only to have it taken away in steroid scandal. A dishonorable discharge from the Navy soon followed. He was on his way to becoming the next MMA champion when his license to fight was revoked for poor sportsmanship. He has become incredibly rich and successful by quickly mastering everything he tried. He saves the Tower survivors from an ambush by jumping his motorcycle though a zombie defense line and defeating a numbered "small one" in an extremely brutal hand to hand fight. While peeling off the motorcycle leathers that protected him from being infected he tells that shocked survivors that he never truly felt alive before the Z-day. He is an amazing help to the survivors until Michael starts talking of a plan to eliminate all the zombies. His is afraid that in a world without zombies that he will no longer have a purpose to live...

Osiris Litmaster: A mental patient with Split personality that has kept a small group of mentally ill people alive in the security of a locked down mental hospital. The tower is amazed at what he has discovered by experimenting on captured zombies. Tonya develops a crush on him and is his strongest supporter. Burt becomes suspicious that the "captured zombies" all have mongoloid features suggesting that they were retarded patients that Osiris Litmaster deliberately infected. There is no poof and Osiris Litmaster has had some success in curing zombies. His successes make the tower survivors avoid questioning the ethics of the situation until it is discovered that the mental hospital's has a unlimited supply of meat and a dwindling supply of extremely retarded mental patients.

Cupcake: Is one of Osiris Litmaster's multiple personalities, Cupcake is the chef.

Rob Zombie the Cabbage patch kid: This is the baby faced son of Singer, and zombie fan, Rob Zombie. He is an innocent survivor who everyone believes is making up stories about who his dad is. The people who like the kid start to disappear. Pegs defends him from the other tower survivors. To thank her the cabbage Patch kid shows Peg something Special he has hidden in a nearby basement. Pegs becomes suspicious when she notices the stairs to the basement have been removed and she is very slow to get close to the edge. Rob Zombie who is actually a Zombie roars in frustration and tried to get out of the basement when Pegs refuses to get any closer to the edge. Cabbagepatch jumps Pegs and she quickly realizes she is not strong enough to win she must make sure that the kids falls into the basement before she is pushed.

Lillidragon Rath & Yarri Solanine: Lesbian Couple than run a commune near Mammoth Mountain. For some reasons the Zombies are made ill by the hot springs so this whole community has no idea what is going out outside the Commune. Several of the tower survivors want to stay but Michael's is so convinced that something must be wrong that he brings in zombies just to scare the other tower members into leaving. Burt was Michaels strongest supporter of leaving the commune but he is the only one who is suspicious that Michael framed them.

Jobe "Duffus" Kerrington: Computer Genius with a bad case of Asperger Syndrome, he should have been bigger than Microsoft and Apple but his people skills are so bad that nobody could stand to work with him. He is still bitter at Steve Wozniak for giving up true genius to become a Silicon Valley Celebrity. He is living in a mansion he had built 20 years ago to survive the end of the world. He shelters the Tower crew during an attack but they never see him, they only hear him though his home intercom system. He claims to have figured out exactly what caused the Zombie outbreak and has a cure that he has used on himself but does not feel obligated to share it with people. The tower survivors start crazy speculations like he is so smart that he is a "Smart One" that has kept his own personality, maybe because his mind never worked like a normal humans.

KC Revolver: Was Western show fast draw competitor, his hug stock of guns and ammunition helped him to survive and to hunt for all of his food. He is also a cook that has survived by constantly cooking BBQ to mask the Smell of humans. He is known as having the best apocalyptic BBQ west of the Mississippi

Todd "The Reaper is Dead" Is a Preacher with a weakness for women who believes he missed the Rapture because of his sins. He is forced to suffer the Tribulation with all the other sinners who god did not take up to heaven on the glorious day. In his shame he has chosen to live in the wilderness like John the Baptist, Rags for clothes and insects for food. He has not bathed or changed his clothes since the "Rapture" and wonders around with a glazed insane look in his eyes and a horrid stench around him. He does not fear the Zombies believing they are Archangels serving God. The Zombies do not seem to notice him, smell, insanity, or lack of fear, BUT some of the Tower survivors start to believe he has Gods protection.

"Wicked" Sid Fraggot was a salesman that learned to love his last name. Nobody forgets the Fraggot Salesman who stopped in. Sid has been jumping from one small survival group to the next. He convinces other people to do the dangerous jobs and usually gets a minor position of authority until he has to run before a jealous boyfriend or husband kills him. He is also the best trader and scrounger there is. He knows of nearly a dozen survival groups and most of them think there are only one or two total. Sid has one problem that he needs help for, a nasty case of the clap that he caught, it is resistant to standard antibiotics so he needs a doctor to tell him what else he can try.

Mascaria Hollomandious: Headliner at a Vegas Gay Burlesque show in LA for a series of sex change operations. He had almost all of the major surgeries done and could pass for a woman until his hormones ran out. Now he looks like a Bearded lady with a square jaw and huge fake knockers. He was a former all-American Football player before he gave up trying to overcompensate for his sexual orientation. Being forced to survive has made him feel like a man again and is struggling with the realization that he might have made a mistake having his manhood cut off. He is still gay but he realized that having a sex change might have been just another overcompensation.

Anghil "Caps Lock" Hellbringer. He loved his last name but as a journalist he was asked "firmly" to come up with a better writing name. Caps lock was not exactly what his publisher wanted but it was better than Hellbringer. Anghil considers this the story of his life and has taken enormous risks trying to find the truth. He quickly saw through Wicked Sid Fraggot's bullshit and became friends with him because he was a wealth of information. He will do anything to get the story any anything to live to tell it. When his left hand was bit by a Zombie he blew his own hand off with a shotgun to keep from getting infected. He has a reputation from making it back from missions even when his mission partners don't make it. He wrote incredible stories of his companions sacrificing themselves to save him, but people are starting to wonder why everyone around him sacrifices themselves to save him.

Obamacat Z Sniper. A former special forces sniper who made a career out of doing impersonations of President Obama. He was at the LA airport waiting to catch a plane to New York to interview with Loren Michaels for a spot on Saturday Night Live. When the Zombie outbreak began he changed into a suit and convinced people that he was the President. Ordinary people sacrificed themselves to protect him because he looks so much like the President. He has been pretending for so long that he now believes his own story.


What are your crazy ideas?

[OldtypeM87]

Litmonkey

[Duffusmonkey]

When I went to College in Cincinnatti a bar had to give thier smoking monkey away to a more humaine place. The monkey had tons of interaction at the bar and loved to smoke and drink. Personally I think sending him away to a cage in a zoo was more cruel than letting him stay at the bar.

I don't remember what that monkey's name was but from now on it will be burned in my memory that his name should have been LitMonkey

Edit: The monkey's name used to be Sam.
http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/3853

[Litmaster]

Litmonkey

Ewwwww.... it's bad enough being melded with Osiris; now you're going to make me a Siamese Monkey Twin with Dufus?

[Osiris]

I would rather be spelled out by the contents of a can of Alphagetti that Kelly finds.

[Litmaster]

Yeah, seriously. Can't the 'Litmaster' simply be his own character; some wisened sage, like a wizard or something? You can have wizards in a zombie story, can't you? That won't fuck it up too much, will it?

Hello?

[Duffusmonkey]

HardKor Bloody Cheek: A boxer who was next in line for a heavyweight title match when his activities in the LA nightclub scene caught the attention of boxing promoters. Fearful that he wouldn't last a round with the champ he was warned that if he didn't get into top shape soon he would never get a title fight. Inspired by Rocky 3 he took several months of supplies and moved into the most remote cabin he could find. Instead of becoming focused on the fight he became a pacifist and never returned to LA. Living as a hermit in the mountains he found peace until one day he saw the smoke of another cabin. When he went to investigate he found not a single cabin but a series of elaborate cabins surrounded by a 10ft wrought iron fence. As he approaches he spots a decent sized group of men and women who let him in as soon as they recognize him. The women seemed very familiar and then it hit him, they were famous porn stars. The women clearly despised the greasy little man who seemed to be running things and the attractive men were only interested in each other. They told him they heard what had happened and some of the filming crew went into town to investigate. The who crew disappeared accept for the head engineer who shambled back into camp a few weeks later. The engineer managed to kill one of actresses before the manager shot him.

Deacon Redshirt: is the owner/manager & lead camera man for "Redshirt Adult movies" He was a greasy, mean self-centered man who was never able to even kiss a woman, until he got rich. His love of pornography led him to open a successful string of adult book stores. His true success occurred when he started to produce his own videos. He had a gift. The ability to degrade women as much as possible without the viewers becoming too uncomfortable. His million dollar cabin in the woods was the perfect place to film movies and it was isolated enough that he his stars were not afraid of drug or vice busts. When the tower survivors stumble on to his cabin HardKor Bloody Cheek immediately becomes protective of his new found harem but the real problem occurs when Saul and Michael are able to immediately identify the actresses. Pegs and Lizzy want them to leave immediately. Deacon begs them all to stay because he is the only one who is armed and he could really use the tower survivors to beef up his security.

Most of the crew are friendly but one crew member is immediately TOO friendly.
Litmaster "the close up Wizard"! seems to have no concept of personal space. He is famous in the adult industry for shots so close that other cameramen can't stomach. He will cram his body ANYWHERE to get the perfect shot. Soon His habit of never knocking has most of the tower survivors ready to string him up. Deacon Redshirt says that his work was vital to the wealth that built this mansion and if anyone messes with him they will be kicked out of the cabin complex. (Is this better Litmaster ?)

Oldtype a sweet grandfatherly old man, and Swedegirl a girl who appeared to be his Granddaughter, are the friendliest of the group. The tower survivors gasp when Swedegirl tells everyone that she still considers this to be her honeymoon with Oldtype. Oldtype chuckles and gives her a grouping French kiss, the more embarrassed the survivors become the more he seems to enjoy it. She quickly tells the story about how they met on the set of her first adult movie on her 18th birthday and despite all the movies they made with other people they are not jealous. The secret is that they go out of their way to make at least one movie together a month.


Jannit Steplaugh is the first of many Hollywood "B & C" actors start to straggle into the porn mansion. Jannit Steplaugh is a tap dancing comedian who's true claim to fame is that she used to be a porn star and is now willing to do almost anything for a laugh. She seems very excited to see other people there but not so thrilled that Deacon Redshirt is one of them. She quickly explains that she remembers the porn cabin from a party, she emphasizes the word party a little too strongly as she gives Deacon a glare.

Crowbar Adventure Hero is the next to arrive and he is a weird one. Saul is the only one who recognizes him for his obscure American Manga Graphic Novels. When asked for his real name he claims that this has been his legal name for long enough that no other name is needed. Despite being very dark and gloomy he quickly attracts the attention of most of the adult actresses by drawing elaborate flattering murals of them covering entire walls of the mansion. After he arrives smalls items start getting stolen and when suspicion falls on him only Saul and the women defend him.

HorrorHiro Mem is a Japanese horror film starlet famous for being the newest and possibly greatest Scream Queen. Nobody there recognizes her so to prove her identity she lets out a scream that echoes though the mountains. In the distance a zombie echoes her yell. Deacon Redshirt comments that if she weren't so damn hot he would kill her and eat her for that. The survivors work for days fortifying the cabin but an attack never comes, it looks like they got lucky...

A few days later Ventriloquist Akward Alex and his Dummy "Sammy D" arrive at the "Porn cabin" riding his classic sidecar racing motorcycle. The dummy is in a wheelchair that is strapped to the flat bottomed sidecar. Akward Alex immediately goes into his act to win over the other survivors. Everyone laughs but later when Datu jokes that he must have been working on new material since Z-day silence falls when the survivors wonder why anyone would take the time to do that. The weirdest part of his act is that "Sammy D" the dummy is not on his lap he is in the wheelchair next to him, joking about he would dead if the Zombie that got hadn't gotten splinters. Alex never goes ANYWHERE without Sammy D and the other survivors start to comment on how lifelike he looks. When Puck tries to check him out closely Akward Alex pushes him away, there is a tearing sound and puck is holding a shirt sleeve while everyone stares at the black number crudely marked on Sammy D's arm...

... I think I got most of the active forum members at this time but I am starting to get into my twisted story.

[Osiris]

On second thought. I don't want any of it. Just keep it awesome.

[LiamKerrington]

*snip*

Duffus - you made my day!

[cupcakezombie]

Good point - I get to be a character all to myself
Bad point - I am just a figment of someone's imagination
Good point - I get to be a chef
I just hope I am better than Pegs