Quote Originally Posted by Osiris View Post
It's an interesting story, so far. Granted I'm only through Chapter two at the moment. It's a little difficult to read for two reasons:


  • A lot of your dialogue is not tagged, so it's a lot of guess work to determine who is speaking and whom they are speaking to.
  • Using numbers to represent words. 1 for One and 2 for too, to and two. That's a terrible habit and one that makes me, as a reader, feel that really don't care about my experience in reading it.


Technical flaws aside (grammar and spelling basics), it's not a terrible story. My only recommendation would be to work with a second set of eyes. Find someone willing to edit and proofread your work before you submit each piece. There's a good deal of potential there for an interesting story if you take a little time to smooth out the rough edges.
You aren't the 1st person the bring up these flaws in this story, I'll certainly make sure to try and not let those simple mistakes go wihtout correction anymore.