Feedback

[HorrorHiro]

1st of all thank you to those on the site who have followed my WA fanfic so far, judging by the views of each chapter so far you guys apparently like it which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside X)

I would greatly appreciate critiquing, suggestions, and other form of feedback. And I may begin submitting chapters sooner than 1 every week. That is all.

[mem]

[Osiris]

It's an interesting story, so far. Granted I'm only through Chapter two at the moment. It's a little difficult to read for two reasons:

• A lot of your dialogue is not tagged, so it's a lot of guess work to determine who is speaking and whom they are speaking to.
  
• Using numbers to represent words. 1 for One and 2 for too, to and two. That's a terrible habit and one that makes me, as a reader, feel that really don't care about my experience in reading it.
  

Technical flaws aside (grammar and spelling basics), it's not a terrible story. My only recommendation would be to work with a second set of eyes. Find someone willing to edit and proofread your work before you submit each piece. There's a good deal of potential there for an interesting story if you take a little time to smooth out the rough edges.

[HorrorHiro]

It's an interesting story, so far. Granted I'm only through Chapter two at the moment. It's a little difficult to read for two reasons:

• A lot of your dialogue is not tagged, so it's a lot of guess work to determine who is speaking and whom they are speaking to.
  
• Using numbers to represent words. 1 for One and 2 for too, to and two. That's a terrible habit and one that makes me, as a reader, feel that really don't care about my experience in reading it.
  

Technical flaws aside (grammar and spelling basics), it's not a terrible story. My only recommendation would be to work with a second set of eyes. Find someone willing to edit and proofread your work before you submit each piece. There's a good deal of potential there for an interesting story if you take a little time to smooth out the rough edges.

You aren't the 1st person the bring up these flaws in this story, I'll certainly make sure to try and not let those simple mistakes go wihtout correction anymore.

[Osiris]

You aren't the 1st person the bring up these flaws in this story, I'll certainly make sure to try and not let those simple mistakes go wihtout correction anymore.

It's hard to do on your own, mostly because you know what you wanted to write and when you read back you have a tendency to see what's in your head right on the page in front of you. Usually, it's the little things--grammar and spelling--that slip through the cracks when you're editing your own work. That's why I suggest working with an editor. Other than that, I quite enjoyed it. Keep writing!