Simulate living in a Zombie Apocalypse
So you want to simulate a zombie apocalypse do you? It’s easier than most people think. I have been living in a zombie apocalypse for almost 6 weeks now and I am loving every minute of it. Now I know everyone out there is wonder, how is it Drew that you are living in a zombie apocalypse and I am not? Well follow these simple steps and you too can live among the living dead like me! First step first, Join the Military. This is where you are going to get all of your core training that you are going to need, weapons skills, survival training, eating things that homeless people won’t eat, and a laundry list of other training that you will receive. For instance just before I deploy I sat through a brief where they taught us how to free our self’s from a set of hand cuffs with a bobby pin or something similar, law enforcement don’t like it but oh well it’s a handy skill to have. Ok so you’ve completed step 1 and enlisted in the Military, next step is easy, deploy to the Middle East. Chances are that step is almost a given with our current situation worldwide and all but if you have the choice then you have to choose to deploy. Upon landing boots on ground you are now living in a simulated zombie apocalypse. For those of you who are a little confused (mostly civilians who never served let me explain a little further) You carry a weapon everywhere you go, in fact I am strapped writing this as we speak. It’s not as bad as some people would think, you get used to carrying a weapon and in fact it almost turns into an extension of you. I know whenever I get home it will take a solid month or so before I stop bending over to grab for my weapon after I get up from sitting down (you always place your long weapon on the deck in-between your chair when you’re sitting down) You eat things that most people won’t feed a homeless person, for about a week or so my entire diet was Top Ramen with tuna mixed it. I know it doesn’t sound all that appetizing but it will make a meal enough said. Depending on which part of the Middle East you find yourself in depends on how much of a zombie apocalypse the area looks like. For instance, there are parts of the cities over here that are bombed to hell, cars burnt out and flipped upside down, the smell of burning trash and death in the air. The sights, smells and sounds of this place will make you feel like the end of the world has happened and you are one of the “lucky” ones to survive it. Last but not least there is the 3rd and final step in simulation a zombie apocalypse, you simple survive. I know it may sound easy but it’s not, you struggle every day to survive, luckily for most of us we have a roundabout idea when we are coming home (breaking a little OPSEC but they tell me sometime in the beginning of 2012) and then you get to come home for a while and unwind. Well folks, those are my three easy steps to simulating a zombie apocalypse; I hope you all enjoy this and I look forward to feed back. Keep your head down, magazines loaded, and weapon clean
P01 Woods, USN
Somewhere in the Middle East
