Discovering A Pandemic

DISCLAIMER: The following blog may contain material some may consider to be spoiler worthy. It is recommended that you read at your own risk. I could claim responsibility for you not paying attention to this warning, but I won't. That said, I'm going to forego any further warnings of spoilers within the blog.

I'd also like to take a brief moment to apologize for my absence over the last few months? Has it been months since the last issue? I can't remember. Doesn't matter, I'm back and I've got a lot of ground to cover and a lot of lost time to make up for. Enough cheese, let's get to the meat.

As we await news of the release date for the season four premiere, I feel as though I’m doomed to be let down. I think about all of the hours devoted to not only listening to previous episodes, but also to analyzing dialogue in a desperate search for clues, and I can’t help but feel that the end of the show is going to fail to live up to my expectation. This is in no way a slight on Kc’s ability to spin a yarn, but I’ve got an idea in my head about how things should—as far as I’m concerned—play out. This leaves me with an empty feeling within the place where my soul would be if I believed I had one. Over the weeks, that feeling of emptiness, that void has bloomed into feelings of trepidation.

One might think it sadness for the ending of the show, but it’s more than that. I’m not sad about the show ending, in fact, the more the idea sits here with me the happier I am to see it going out on a high note. I can understand the technical obstacles that face the production, cast members moving away, marriages, etc. can make it difficult to stretch a show like this for seven or eight season. I look at this end as a blessing. It’s best to go out while the writing is strong. Really, would anyone want this to go on for another three years? Another three of waiting for Monday like it’s Friday.

How fucked up is that?

What worries me most about the end of the show isn’t whether or not my theories pan out. It isn’t whether or not my favourite characters stay alive. It isn’t even whether or not we find out what the cause of the whole mess was. No, what worries me the most is that the end of the series is going to be just like its beginning: quiet and filled with questions. I can deal with my favourite characters being killed off—even though if Scratch goes my universe will collapse on itself—but I don’t want to deal with questions that will never be answered. Unfortunately, Kc is the type of jerk that would do just that. He’s like the Joss Whedon of the audio drama world. Sure, here’s a bunch of answers, but I’m going to go ahead and hit you with a final scene that raises two questions that will drive you insane for the rest of your natural life. Not only that but when he’s asked about it you can bet that he’ll act all aloof and douchey.

That’s right, I said it.

So, what are the questions that I give a shit about? What are the sticking points for me that will determine whether or not I’m satisfied by the time Michael Swan starts reading the credits on the final episode—though I would love, absolutely LOVE to hear the cast each read their own credit *cough* *cough*? Well that’s a good question, and I’m glad you asked.

1. I want an answer about Scratch and Angel’s relationship, though I can assume we’ll never get to the bottom of that one.
2. I want to know what the hell happened to Michael’s arm. I mean, I know what happened, but I want to hear it from the horse’s mouth. Not that Jim is a horse.
3. What do the tattoos covering Ink’s body mean? Is this some kind of demon summoned from the depths of some hell dimension? I can only imagine we’ll never find out. But! never say never, I suppose . . . though I don’t believe that anyone will find a copy of “The Story Behind The Ink: A Biography” by The One With The Markings, so I’m not holding my breath.

Instead, I turn my focus to questions that seem more likely to find resolution.

• Will Burt get past his survivor’s guilt?
• Will Pegs and Michael live long enough to have a real life together?
• Will Kelly finally get some ass? C'mon Kc . . . cut the broad some slack!
• Is Riley going to come out of the closet? And I am I the only one that would be okay with her and Kelly hooking up?
• Is it chemical, biological, or magical? Is Cthulhu behind it all? Was it a government experiment? Did shit just fall out of the sky? I’m going to guess that there are facets of the cause we’ll never know, but I’m sure Kc will give us a fair enough chunk to satisfy most. For better or worse, the end is nigh and nothing can stop it.

I know this edition of Surviving A Pandemic feels a little on the quick and dirty side, but it’s been a long month of working on other projects, and to be honest with you I’ve had little time to devote to anything else. Will this be the blog’s final season? Chances are high that it will be. But! there are some interesting things in the works including, but not limited to, an upcoming interview with a member of the cast that has become a dear friend. While I may not be looking forward to seeing the end of the show, I am looking forward to experiencing it with all of you.


Osiris is a cat lover, and can be found
wandering the aisles of convenience
stores in search of Lays and Twizzlers.

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